The Relationship Artist: Don't Be A Chrome Woman

Don't be a chrome woman? What on Earth am I talking about now?

I want to talk about a friend of mine. Let's call her Julie......even though her name is Lee. (sorry...couldn't help it!) There is one thing I always noticed about her. No matter who she was in a relationship with, Julie never quite seemed to be herself. She tried way too hard to keep her man happy. Now, that in itself is not really an issue, we all try to impress our present partners even if we go overboard from time to time, waiting on them hand and foot. What I noticed about Julie was that no matter who she was with at the time, she always turned into a carbon copy of them. Any interest the guy had......racing, football, dogs, "Lost", it didn't matter, Julie would make those interests hers. Maybe I need to explain that it's Okay to want to share and be involved with your lover's hobbies and interests. In fact, that's a great thing! Only Julie would forget to bring those parts of herself to the relationship table. That's why I call her "Chrome Woman". Almost as if she is made of chrome, she is only a reflection of whoever she is standing next to at any given time. No good......

I see this alot. And it is never a positive thing for a relationship. We have discussed this before......how being an individual is the strongest gift you can bring to a new relationship. In Julie's case, it is an exceptional shame. She is one of the most beautiful, intelligent, and interesting people I have ever met. For some reason, though, she leaves her soul/self tucked inside where no one can see it. She, above most women I know, can bring a wonderful collection of stories, experiences, and views on life into a relationship and contribute her share of the neccessary energy to make a relationship work. But, for some reason she doesn't. In her mind, she needs to "become" whoever she is with at the time. Julie even goes as far as to dress similar to her man and will talk like him as well, using the same slang, accent, and inflections. She becomes a fanatic over whatever sport, TV show, or favorite food her lover likes, even if she never had a previous interest in them before meeting him. It is like having a "Mini Me" following you around wherever you go and it can drive you crazy. To no one's surprise, Julie's relationships are only half as great as they could be and they don't last as long as they should.

In the Eddie Murphy movie, "Coming To America", the Prince (Murphy) meets his pre-arranged fiance for the first time, on the eve of their wedding. When the Prince asks her, "What is your favorite movie?" she replies, "whatever you like." When asked by the Prince, "What is your favorite food?" she replies again, "whatever you like." And it goes on and on......places, hobbies, dances, music. Always the same reply, "whatever you like". Finally, the Prince tells her to jump on one foot and bark like a dog. She of course complies, and the Prince walks out on his wedding and flies to America in search of a "real woman of substance." Funny movie......I love it. But, unfortunately too close for comfort when it comes to some of my friends. Any man faced with this boring situation would more than likely make like an atom and split.

You have to bring yourself to the relationship.....it's as simple as that. When you get invited to the relationship party, make sure you're the one who shows up. It's only fair. Impersonators are a load of fun at the comedy clubs, but you don't want to marry one. You are made up of so many experiences, moments, and precious soul pieces that it is a special gift to share the essence of who you are with your lover. Don't they deserve the wonderful surprises you have for them? Isn't it beautiful when two souls share their most delicate interests with each other? Are you or someone you know a "Chrome Woman?"

Well, stop it. Your lover deserves better! Don't be frightened to bare all......

1+1= something alot bigger than two.............remember?

.........and Julie Lee......if you will still talk to me after this, let's get some coffee.......I want to know more about you...

Keep your identity...it's not that hard...
Make her want you more!
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